Over the course of the last year I have been.... well disappointed in my work, to put it one way. I could not quite put my finger on what was wrong. I just didn't like what I was putting out there. I have been feeling, during this time that I needed to go in a different direction. I just didn't have a clue as to what to do.
Recently I was reading Morton Feldman Says (a brilliant book, if you have not read, I highly recommend, he was such a great and large character) and in reading his ideas on sound, structure, and his relationship to what he does, it struck me. I knew where I needed to go with my work (sort of). Not to say I am following in Feldman's footsteps by any means, my voice is very different than his. It was his approach to what he did that made the difference to me, and it was my past approach to what I did that was no longer giving me satisfaction. Part of this was recently becoming a father, and the realization that time was no longer on my side. I must find a new way to work, which led me to Feldman. His idea of absolute focus and allowing the material (as he never called anything an idea) to unfold in an organic way struck such a nerve. I had grown so weary of this idea, leads to this idea, goes back to that idea etc... There just wasn't any gratification in it for me anymore.
And so, I have struck out in a slightly different direction with a different approach, and only time will tell what good will come of it. I have just finished the first piece in my new mindset and so far I am enjoying the new direction and I am very happy with the product thus far.
